Methadone Hydrochloride Fentanyl Patches, Methadone Side Effects, One of the Lucky Ones, Physical Signs, Bone Grafts
I'm 47 yrs old now, & have been on Methadone since 92'. My journey with pain started at age 11 yrs, when i had a disease that totally screwed me up. From 11 yrs to 24 yrs, I was prescribed everything from Tyl #3 to Fentanyl patches. I don't know how many of you were around back then, but the 70's & 80's for pain patients wasn't easy. Lots of us put bullets into our brains because the Government made Doctors afraid to treat us "humanely" (so to speak). I was one of the lucky ones because I had outward physical signs of being in pain, so Doctors treated those outward pain symptoms. If i had not had those signs, I know I would wouldn't be here typing this now. I'm relaying this history, before my methadone side effects, because its important pain patients know something. ... more »
I'm 47 yrs old now, & have been on Methadone since 92'. My journey with pain started at age 11 yrs, when i had a disease that totally screwed me up. From 11 yrs to 24 yrs, I was prescribed everything from Tyl #3 to Fentanyl patches. I don't know how many of you were around back then, but the 70's & 80's for pain patients wasn't easy. Lots of us put bullets into our brains because the Government made Doctors afraid to treat us "humanely" (so to speak). I was one of the lucky ones because I had outward physical signs of being in pain, so Doctors treated those outward pain symptoms. If i had not had those signs, I know I would wouldn't be here typing this now. I'm relaying this history, before my methadone side effects, because its important pain patients know something.
When I was 21 yrs old, got married & had a child. He didn't live very long, and it was at that point i started using my pills to stifle my feelings. At first I didn't realize what I was doing.. but.. it didn't take to long, and I realized it. Up to that point.. after losing both limbs, skin, and bone grafts, ulcer surgeries up the wazoo, fusions, countless medical procedures, hospitalizations, and operations.. to many to remember.. I had three surgeons, and a internist. All of them knew about one another, but it was up to me to keep each informed as to what they were prescribing.. and I didn't do it. Cut to the chase... About two years after my child dying, my internist retired, so I had to have my records transferred to another Doctor, at another Clinic. Everything with the Dr/ Patient relationship went well, up to about a month. One day.. Something in my head told me I should go to the clinic office, and read my records (i.e. Chart). So.. for the first time in my life, I listened to my head, and went into the clinic, told them what I wanted.. they directed me to medical records.. I told the lady there what I wanted.. she took me to a private room.. handed me a waiver to sign.. kind of stupid waiver, since I was reading my own file.. but.. none the less, signed it.. she handed me my three volume chart. It didn't take long for me to see why, and I'm sure most veteran pain patients will know why too. Right there in Bold Red on the very first piece of paper was "Drug Seeker! Abuses Opiates". Now.. I'm not saying I'm not deserving of that title, but what I am saying is.. "They don't let you know you've been labeled, they let everyone else know, but you." So.. If you are a pain patient.. read your chart once in a while, because once you get that title.. life gets much harder, & you have no idea how judgmental people (even Doctors) are. To most M.D.'s your too big of a liability, & a "criminal" Lastly.. be very careful with these medicines because, it's not that far of a jump from, you controlling them, to them controlling you." Once it happens, its not easy to turn it around again. From age 24 yrs to 27 yrs.. it was hell. I came close many times. Loaded my 30-06 three times, & My 45 twice that I remember. My wife came home early from work on that second time, and found one live round that had fallen on the floor, bent down to pick it up, then found the revolver under the couch.. took me to the hospital.. the E.R. doc admitted me for the pain, and actually treated it with Methadone. With the first dose, I noticed a relief, as I had never felt it before. Not all pain was gone, but after a could days of upping the dose.. it was. When my pain was controlled, it was time for discharge. The doctor that took over my care during admission sent me home with a week supply, & wanted to see me in a week. When I went to his clinic, he had read my previous doctors notes, & now wanted me to come off, & go back to something else. He told me, "that people like me, have to go to Methadone clinics to get methadone." I had been conservative with hiss discharge meds, so I left his office, went home, looked up the nearest methadone clinic, and stayed there for over 7 years (ME BEING STUPID AGAIN!). During those 7 years, I met 4 "pain patients" who were only guilty of being in pain, & having a doctor that didn't want to deal with them, so (like my doc) they mention the only real place, they can get it without bothering them (Methadone clinic). What I didn't realize until the day I walked out, and never went back (and never will), is that Methadone Patients are treated like criminals.. not patients.. AND by being a methadone criminal, you give your state permission to be part of your treatment (And believe me.. you may not see or hear from them,, but they know you by name). I found out after my pain doctor at the time got authorized to prescribe to me, supplemental Methadone at bedtime. After about a month, I get called into my councilors office, & she tells me "the State Methadone Authority says, I have to go back to Phase I because, apparently the pain doctor had been prescribing to other methadone patients without their permission, and that all of us patients had to go back to Phase I". There was no way I was going back to driving 90 miles a day 6 days a week, for something I had nothing to do with. I'm guessing the State was thinking I spread the news about my good fortune with this new pain doctor.. but everyone at the Clinic knew, I came there, sat & waited for my turn, & left. I might say Hi as i passed someone.. AND.. none of the 4 pain patients I mentioned above, were the patients being punished by the State.
The Country says, "its doing better when it comes to treating chronic pain patients." and to a point, I'd say its better.. but there are still miles to go.
METHADONE SIDE EFFECTS:
Someone here mentioned that by taking methadone, he doesn't feel the need for any other opiate. Thats very true. I felt it, & its why they use it for heroin addics. THe first month, I felt really sedated after about 20 minutes of taking it.. But that went away, & now all i get is pain relief.
When I have a operation, I stop taking them about two days before. Three if its possible, because its also true.. after the operation the pain increases, but you get little pain relief from anything.
I can't think of anything else.. except.. soon my only doctor since being on methadone is leaving to another State 3000 miles away, so soon, I'll be back to unthinkable thinking again, I'm sure. Who's going to take a past "drug Seeker-Methadone clinic patient? No Body that doesn't know me.. thats for sure.
I'm sorry this is so long. Good-Luck All