Daughter of Mom Who Bipolar
Posted over a year ago
I am a daughter who's mom is bipolar. Just recently my mother has gotten worse due to my uncle's death. It seems like everytime something traumatic happens in our family, she gets bad. This has been going on ever since I was a little girl i'm now 37 yrs ... more »
I am a daughter who's mom is bipolar. Just recently my mother has gotten worse due to my uncle's death. It seems like everytime something traumatic happens in our family, she gets bad. This has been going on ever since I was a little girl i'm now 37 yrs old. It hurts ever much to watch my mother this way.Many people don't understand this illness.It use to be hard to understand mom's illness until I watched a movie called : A Beautiful Mind after watching this it has helped a great deal.
Darklite - Im bipolar and I have a 4 yr old daughter. Your a very brave person!! and your right..if you dont know the illness you'll never understand a bipolar person. I hope when my daughter is your age she will still be by myside..loving and understanding...
Take care
Momof3jboys - My husband is bipolar and he was just diagnosed last year. Before the diagnosis he was becoming a different person at times...very angry screaming at me for no reason and lying about his pay check and finally lost his third job due to this. I felt like the lies would never end, he even started calling those chat line phone numbers and was calling and texting another woman..well a 19 year old girl...this went on for months until I found the number in his work phone. This disorder is very difficult for the family of the affected person also. I will watch this movie and also if anyone has any helpful advice for me please let me know. Good Luck to you and your mom...
Beachkomber - I'm sorry your mom is going through anxiety issues right now. I'm bipolar, and any sort of stress makes me unstable in my moods. I used to have screaming fits and I would be so anxious I would be literally unable to think. I dissociate, and most bipolar people I know do as well: when we're having a fit, it's like watching from outside ourselves, with no control over what we do. And what we do is just plain cruel. (Thankfully, it's only been verbal fits, and they are very rare now. I can't imagine ever hitting one of my kids!)
One thing I do to help out is keep a supply of "emergency" medications on hand. I'm not a suicide risk, so my doctor keeps me supplied with 0.5 mg Klonopin (Clonazepam) for "as needed" use. She used to give me Ativan instead, which is related to Klonopin. But the reason for the switch is I have essential tremors (shaky hands, etc), and Klonopin is indicated for treating tremors as well as anxiety. I hope your mom has a medication she can take in times of high anxiety. If she doesn't, maybe you can mention this to her doctor -- if you're "allowed" to. Privacy laws can actually hurt in this area.
Another thing that can help is playing defense for your mom. Often anything stressful will make a bipolar person freak out. Well, if you can take on a responsibility or two for her just in the short term, it may help. I know it means a lot to me if I'm going through a fit if my husband watches the kids for a few hours while I go to our room and go through relaxation techniques and pray. Sometimes just admitting I'm having a bad day is enough to help me get stable. (Being in denial means you can't be helped.)
I'm so sorry you had to grow up with a bipolar parent. I know how it is: my dad was/is bipolar. He's mellowed with age, though. He's over 65 now and I was estranged from him for over 18 years. I recently got back in touch with him (a year ago) and I've come to learn how very much like my dad I am, not just the bipolar, but the way we think through something. It really has helped me see another side of my dad that I never knew. I actually feel loved by him, when I never did before. It has been a waight off of me to talk to him about problems I had when I was a kid, and then telling him that I forgave him. He never knew he had a problem until I estranged myself from him at age 18. It's kind of funny: it took me, a bipolar young adult, telling him he was a jerk to make him finally see he had issues outside of his control. He's since gotten psychiatric help and he's now a different person than the one I never wanted to see again.
I hope your relationship with your mom is a benefit to both of you. Never feel guilty for wanting "safe" relationships in your life. No one deserves abuse, though sometimes it seems you do when you're in the middle of it.
Anything you can do to help your mom right now would be appreciated on some level by her. Hopefully this time of loss will stop affecting her moods soon. It's hard to lose a loved one, but it's even harder to lose a loved one and then feel like you have to take care of another (or walk on eggshells around them!)
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that what I had to say here helps you through this time as well. Take care.
Joannrogersm - Thank you ever so much for everyone's replies.... Today my mother is having a great day. My older sister & I have been spending everyday with our mom from mornings until our step-father comes home from work to stay with her. We have not left her alone for a second. We make sure that she takes all medications and that her blood sugar is not high. High sugar does not go good with a bipolar person ! I make sure that she is eating right, mom is coming back to us slowly but surely. I think my mom has a beautiful mind. We laugh all day and just know that she'll be fine. Your right that with faith & prayer God listens and doesn't ever put anyone through anymore than we can't handle. I LOVE MY MOM WITH ALL MY HEART ! God Bless you all ..... To darklite: I was your daughters age, and I'm sure that your daughter will be by your side. I asked that you please watch the movie" A Beautiful Mind" when she is old enough to understand. That is the one movie that opened my mind to my mom's illness. I only wish that my aunt would of gaven it to earlier in life. I went through all my teen years and part of my adult life not understanding.I ended up with bad bleeding stomache ulcers due to worring about mom. Wondering if I was going to come home from school and not find my mom, cause grandmother would not deal with my mom actions. Instead, she was always getting court-orders to have mom sent away to state hospital. Now, I understand and I won't allow this ever to happen to us again. Mom had us to watch over and be here for her.....
Kskeene - My husband is Bipolar, but you wouldn't know it anymore! The difference? His diet. Most people with bipolar do NOT eat well. His diet is vegetarian, and chock full of vegetables and fruits. Before he started eating this way, he was very moody, angry and unpredictable. Now he is cheerful and pretty predictable. I can tell when he's been eating junky, because he reverts back to his old self. Please check out hacres.com for healing information.
Sincerely Indeed,
Kathleen
Mengelfamily - Food allergies and food addictives can cause behavior problems and mood swings especai Food dye yellow # 5 and red food dye. They have been trying to take it off the shelves for many years and are aware of this but not much is said about this on mental health sites. So diet is very important and can affect mood swings.
Carlyf - has she ever had her hormones tested, or cut out alcohol or caffeine? a lot ofpeople don't know how their diet affects them,, and doctors won't help them
i'm also convinced that women who have problems are low in progesterone...not to mention may have blood sugar issues
Joannrogersm - My mom has had her hormones tested and is ok . She does not drink alcohol at all. She does smoke alot of packs of cig. a day.I'm concerned about her heart and lungs. She takes Abilfy .with alot of other medications.She is also taking pills & injections for high sugar levels. I can tell when mom is not taking her meds. Because, she is what they call a smacker. She starts smacking her lips as if she were chewing gum but, really isn't. I study my mothers behavior and ask her if she has missed doses. She will try to deny it but, then just gives in and tells me that she has not been taking her meds. So, I will get her back on track.I asked her Social Worker in the begining when I noticed the smacking and she told me that she was one of alot of bipolar patience that there are who are called" Smackers" . This is a sign for me that my mom isn't taking her meds. It helps me to help her get back on track so that I don't have to see my mom go through the state system. I hate those places and don't ever want mom there again as I did as a child.....Thanks !!!
Carlyf - I SOOOO know what you mean. It's hard to care for people, but I don't want anyone related to me being taken care of by an impersonal system, even when people can be good...
Does she eat a good diet?
Joannrogersm - I try to get her to eat a well diet containing lots of veggies but, she is always eating sweets. Which I tell her that it's not good for her due to her high sugar level. She claims to have a big sweet tooth.... I'd really wish she would not eat junk food. I know that it affects her bipolar when sugars are high. Then, I have to bring them down again . Plus drinking plenty of water helps sugar levels. Your right about the system even though there are alot of great people that care of your relative with lots of care. Then , there are some that are just there for a paycheck and don't care. I have seen so much growning up. I told my mother that I understand her illness and, she not need to ever again worry about if she gets sick again that she'll ever be placed in those places again.She's my mom and I'll always bring her back to me...... She thanked me and it made us both cry. I Love my best mom DEARLY !!!!!!
Carlyf - Can you give her protein? And fiber foods? That would also help her sugars...sugar and caffeine can make an average person good bipolar! So imagine with her...
check out sugarshock.com
Joannrogersm - Thanks for your advice I will check out sugarshock.com. I had no idea that sugar and caffeine helps! Thanks again
Air - I know this is a really old thread, i hope someone will see it.
My mother is also bipolar. She was diagnosed when I was about 16 or 17 and I am now 27. My parents divorced when i was 10 and it was all downhill from there. I remember us always fighting and I thought she was crazy, but not really crazy. Then it got really out of hand with her she was up for several days in a manic episode. The police got involved and that is when she was taken to a mental hospitial for evalutaion. My brother was 12 at the time.
She moved away to where her mother and father lived for 8 years. The whole time there nothing, but fighting with my aunt and grandmother. I honestly thought it was all true or atleast partialy true. Now she has decided to move back over here with us to be close to her grandchildren. She has only been back a month. She is sooo paranoid and delusional I don't know what I can do for her. She knows that she is bipolar, but will NOT take her meds. Says that she isn't crazy. It has gotten so bad she always thinks people are taking things from her. so bad that when she goes into stores she thinks the things there are hers. She totaly flipped out on my husband and so we said it clearly wasn't a good idea for her to stay with us. So she went to stay with a freind. A few days later she showed up at my work with a car load of her friend's clothes. Asking me if they were mine, i had never seen any of it. :( I pleaded with her this wasn't happeneing. I have told her if she will go and get counseling and help herself then we will do whatever we can, but she won't listen. she won't go for help. i do not know what else i can do. she is making fights between me and my husband and brother and i know its just a matter of time b4 she goes to mess with my dad and his wife.
any advice would be greatley appreciated. as i am at a loss.
thank you!
Beachkomber - You can have your mom committed. I would do it, just because she is a danger to herself and others. It sounds like she may have schizophrenia rather than Bi-Polar (some psychiatrists believe there is a continuum between Bi-Polar and Schizo - and that some people sway more toward mild symptoms like Bi-Polar and more pronounced symptoms like Schizo). The only way to get a thorough diagnosis is to have her committed. You can try to have her declared mentally incompetent once she has a diagnosis, if you and your family want to make her stay in the hospital until all of her symptoms are under control. I know how horrible it must sound to have your mom committed, but think about it this way: she cannot have a healthy relationship with her grandchildren or her children. She steals everything in sight because she doesn't know any better. She's too paranoid to listen to anyone who wants to give her the meds she needs. She's been having bouts of psychosis: the delusions alone make her very dangerous. And she's driving?? Goodness. She's tearing your family apart, and she is unwilling to change. The best option is to have her committed because then she can be forced to take her meds. Once her symptoms are under control, it is more likely that she will accept counseling. I hope things work out for you. It's scary to have a mom that can't be a "mom" to you. Once your mom's symptoms are under control, then your family can make a decision about future contact with her. If it were me, I'd have an ultimatum: if you take your meds, you can have contact with us. If you don't take your meds, we will refuse to have any contact with you. I see that as the only way - it's unfair to let your mom ruin everyones life just because someone feels guilty about cutting off contact with her. You've already tried it her way, now it's time for you and your family to take control of the situation because your mom has proven repeatedly that she is incapable of doing it herself.
Air - Thank you so much for your response. We have told her that she either goes for counseling and takes her meds or we won't have contact with her, but she just keeps comming around. She thinks my husband is behind everything. She came over tongiht to get her things she is staying with my brother now. She was screaming and yelling at my husband telling him she would knock the hell out of him. She does have all of us fighting. It won't last more than a day. I had her commited 10 years ago, when I was still in high school. This is so sad. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to go about it. She stole one of my house keys and I honestly don't feel safe? our kids are very young 6 months, 2 and 3. I totaly agree though. I see it now, she needs to go to the hospitial to get under control then once she is stable we can attempt a relationship.
Carlyf - do the meds affect her badly? and is she able to eat and drink properly, with good nutrition? Good luck! Have you ever considered calling someone like Dr Joy Browne, who's very good with this on the radio? she's on wor-am, 710 am, in nyc and across the country
Beachkomber - Air: it's pretty easy to change locks. If you decide to do it, you can get all new door knobs or dead bolts which work with the same key (they each have a code on their box: if you match the code, you match the key) or you can get the locks re-keyed while you wait (the person at the key cutting area knows how to do it). Home Improvement Warehouses - like Lowe's and Home Depot - have these services. I hope things end up working out for you. It's so tough to do what's best sometimes. Take care.
Sunnydays - My mom was diagnosed with Bipolar last year. She was in a huge manic phase, leaving my father after 35 years, going to bars, disowning her kids, swearing, losing her job, spending $40,000 in one month on her credit cards and her 401K. She tore our family up, but not apart. The rest of us had to do damage control each day. We had her committed, but it was not easy. It took court orders, the police, and a mobile crisis unit. The facility was horrible and I didnt agree with anything that went on with my mom and eventually she was able to convince them that she was healthy and they let her walk out. Today, she is in a deep deep depression, its been 12 months of her sitting around, losing weight, not working, growing old. She is on meds, but they make her shake, weak, and she is still not back to my normal "mom". I have been told that since she was older and lasted in her manic phase for 3 months that it could take a LONG time for her to be stabilized. All I want is my mom back, I want my happy family to sit down to dinner and enjoy a conversation together. I want my father to stop stressing about money because my mother is not working and is in thousands of dollars in debt........I pray and I wish for life to go back to the one I knew for 30 years.......
Agrodolceneve - My mom has bipolar disorder. I am a full time student and work two jobs and Im barely ever home to start, but whenever I am my mom and I are constantly fighting. It wasn't always like this. It wasn't until I reached high school that she would compeletly freak out over the littlest thing going wrong. She's either really happy and taking me out and actually doing stuff with me or she is screaming and yelling and calling all sorts of names and shes hits me quit a few times too. She has tried to kill herself several times and when the cops came to our house once because she was fighting with my dad she made up this HUGE lie about how my dad had hit her. They almost took my dad to jail. If me and my sister hadn't told the cops the truth he would've gone. My mom constanly blames my brothers wives for them barely talking to her. My brothers can't stand to be around her anymore because of all the problems she causes. I want to have her commited, but I don't know how and I don't want my family to be mad at me. What should I do?
Beachkomber - I'm glad things went well with the eval and that your mom is going to be under inpatient care for a while. There's really nothing better, IMO, than being kept under watch while meds are adjusted.
I envy your mom! When I was an inpatient/outpatient, I was told to set up a support system once I got home. Being shy and also unable to make friends who were sane enough to be "supportive", I was pretty much left hung out to dry. Your mom has no idea how lucky she is right now, and I hope that the future holds good days for all of you. Take care. :-)
Jonesjb - I feel for you....im sorry i am not 1 for writing much because i always feel i cannot or am not good enough for anything!!
I know what it is like to grow up with a mother that could snap at anytime, when i was a kid my mother used to get so mad just like that she banged my head against the wall and i remember literally pushing my head into her hand so it didnt hurt so much!!
Also we argued so much real bad, now we are ok, but mum went through a bad nervous breakdown....my great 2 or 3 of my great uncles on my mothers side had severe breakdowns too, and my great grandfather.....
I too now have been diagnosed with type 2 bi-polar, but i feel it is all the same.....i remember at school, in say a test or a certain task, i would get so worked up that i couldnt concentrate, grasp the concept so i could do the job and i would often be emotional and shake voilently sometimes!!
I believed it was the cause of my not doing well in my exams, and that severely let down my father, he never really forgive me for doing so badly. I am 27 now and he is coming to terms with my condition, well at least i think he is!!?? Although I am on lamital 300mgs of the stuff to try and curb my depression, but it has just changed from helping my moods to giving me such a bad memory!!
The worst thing for me was that i wanted to die, but the immense fear of God kept me here until i got to the point i said bollocks to it, im going to do it anyway and i went and made a noose and had it all planned!!
I feel that i have totally waisted my life now thanks to this disease, i still feel like ending everything.....
Well, with your mum, she does need your support, even if it is just little by little.....I sincerely hope your mum continues on the road to rcovery, even if it can get a bit rocky!!
Lindamann - I'm afraid I'm bipolar and have broached the subject with my grown children who said maybe, but have been afraid to ask the doctor. He has me on Cymbalta for depression, but it doesn't really work well for mood swings - happy when all goes well, fly off the handle when it doesn't. I sleep too much during the day and am awake all night. I can get very "up" and very "down" within seconds. It scares me so much. I can go from a nice sweet normal lady to a mean, nasty witch and back again. I am more nice than I am mean and nasty, but when it happens I can argue my point til the cows come home, even if I am wrong. I turn on my daughter for no reason, telling her she's irresponsible, when she's not. Then I feel so much guilt I cry myself to sleep. I don't know if this was because I had 25 years of verbal abuse from a spouse or whether or not I really am bipolar. The doctor I had before said it was my spouses fault. I'm not that sure, since he'd deceased and I still have the symptoms.
Any ideas anyone? I have to see the doctor this week, because I have an infection in my sinuses.
TIA.
Linda M
Beachkomber - I'd mention the sleepless nights to the doctor. You need to be on a normal sleep and wake routine - sleeping when it's dark and wakeful in the day. If your daytime sleepiness were a symptom of your depression, the Cymbalta really should have taken care of that. If you take your Cymbalta in the AM, you may want to see if you can take it in the PM. Sometimes you can get the same benefits you normally would and avoid the side effect of sleepiness if you take it at bedtime. There are also mood stabilizers that you can take (I use Seroquel) and they also cause sleepiness - which is good, if you take it at bedtime. Maybe one can be added to your regimen in the PM so it can help you sleep.
Now, about the possibility that your outbursts are related to the verbal abuse you suffered: I have PTSD - my father was abusive. I know that, when I have flashbacks (where I am basically living through the experiences again), I tend to lash out more easily. Stress can bring on flashbacks, as can the holiday season. BUT, I also have bipolar. I can lash out and have mood swings just because I'm in a manic phase. I know the difference between manic-phase behavior and PTSD knee-jerk reactions, and I'm assuming you're also able to make that distinction. Why don't you check out post-traumatic stress disorder online? There are quizzes available as well as the DSM IV which will tell you if you likely have PTSD. If you are experiencing anything related to the verbal abuse you suffered, your results will indicate that you may have a problem. The thing with PTSD is, you can still be affected by the past even though what happened is not even possible in the present. (I used to have horrible Christmases, and I hadn't seen my dad in over 15 years - I was estranged from him the moment I left for college. And yet, I still had flashbacks when anything reminded me of him or how he treated me and my family.) So, don't discount the possibility of PTSD out of hand. It does warrant some looking into just because PTSD and bipolar sometimes go hand-in-hand.
It's important to follow your symptoms over a few months, since you'll be able to see a pattern emerge. What you want to keep track of are: sleepiness, wakefulness/insomnia, feelings of anxiety/depression, talking too fast, can't sit still, irritability, guilt, hopelessness, etc - basically any symptom that is bothersome to you or is regularly associated with bipolar and/or depression. Also keep track of your monthly cycle. Some doctors love blaming mood swings on PMS and menopause, so stand firm if the pattern doesn't fit your hormone cycle.
It sounds like your mood swings take you from depression to mania in less than 24 hours. That's very unusual, but not unheard of. Your doctor is your GP; see if you can get a referral to a psychiatrist. They are much better at handling bipolar, and it sounds like you need a more informed opinion/diagnosis. If your doctor will not refer you, see if your insurance (I hope you have some, since treating mental issues is not cheap!) will let you refer yourself to a psychiatrist. It always looks better to have your GP refer you, since it means your regular doctor who knows you is acknowledging your symptoms. If you have to have a doctor's referral and your GP won't give you one, then it's time to hunt for a new doctor. You need someone who will take care of you, not someone who will ignore what's going on in your life. (One extreme way to get help is to commit yourself, but that is something that needs to be a last-ditch effort to get help. It's what I had to do five years ago.)
Finally, I recommend seeing if you can find a good therapist or counselor who knows Dialectical Behavior Therapy. DBT is a weekly class where you learn techniques to help yourself, and you also see a personal counselor who can help you use the techniques in your own life. It's sometimes free at medical schools and most insurance covers it. Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the only therapy that helped me. It teaches you how to regulate your emotions and how to know when you need some time to de-stress before you lash out. It takes about 6 months to go through the program once. I went through it once 5 years ago, but right now, I am working with a different counselor who is familiar with DBT, since I realize I have lost a lot of the skills I'd acquired 5 years ago. Most people go through DBT more than once, usually back-to-back.
I know this was a lot. Just know that you are on the right track. Whether it's bipolar or PTSD or both, you need someone to help you address it so you can finally live your life again instead of worrying about mood swings and what always seems to follow. I hope that your doctor takes you seriously this time. Good luck.
Lindamann - Thank beachkomber for your advice. It may be PTSD. 2001 was when I "died" on the table in the hospital and was brought back to life. I'm on disability and not young. When I got out of the hospital, things changed with me. I was very angry with the doctor and didn't really want to come back! Then 5 yrs later, my spouse passed away cancer. It took a toll on the family. His family was mean, forced us out of his home (it was his inheritance that they refused to sign over while we remained married!) and we moved to a whole new area where no one is friendly. We had no time to make any decisions, to mourn, etc. My kid can't get a full time job, my other one came from Baghdad a month before his daddy died. He doesn't live with us, no room. He's on his way to Afghanistan in a few months. I sometimes feel suicidal and now my oldest is saying she wants to kill herself when things go wrong. I'm just a mess. The Cymbalta is only 60 mgs and they said to take it in the AM because it's an ANTI-depressant, not a sleep aid. He then gave me Ambien for sleep, but it makes me "drunk" the next day. I'm on 15 different drugs each day! I don't want to take anymore. Insurance is medicare and they pay for very little.
Thanks again. I will discuss this with him when I can get in to see him. I don't want to get worse.
Linda Mann
Lindamann - Oh and I never talk fast. I'm a Type A Personality, even though I'm very sedentary now. I just sit in the chair or do a few chores. I'm just tired all the time. I'm way past menopause, so hormones are OUT! lol Maybe I need some.. :) They caused a heart attack once and I don't want to look for problems. It's just some people online say I'm bipolar and I didn't think so, but am beginning to now.
Lindamann - Sure you may anytime beach
kskeene, I tried getting off and things got worse in one day. He won't let me off. I went from Lexapro 10 mgs where I DID have episodes of mania (fast talking, laughing, etc) to depression. They finally started me on Cymbalta and it worked for a while, now I think he's going to up the dose. I don't want that. I want something else. Also I have high triglycerides and fair sugar and he has me on more triglyceride meds even though I told him nothing helped.
I am just destined to take all the Rx drugs for my "health" I guess or I will die for sure. It's disgusting.
To the OP, so sorry for the hijack :) I know you will be fine with your mom though. I wish I could tell my kids that.
Kskeene - You aren't destined to take poisons for the rest of your life. And they aren't a cure, they are covering up symptoms, symptoms of your body needing more nutrition and getting rid of the toxins you are putting in such as sugar, white flour, meat, dairy, etc. It may sound crazy, but it's true-the way we eat can help our bodies heal themselves, or kill us. Just check out any raw food site for more info. You don't have to eat 100% raw food, but just replace the junk with living food, and you will see dramatic results! (I lost a lot of weight! :) Americans are definitely produce deficient! Not Lexapro, Cymbalta, Prozac, or even aspirin deficient, just produce deficient!
I had a terrible reaction too when trying to get off Cymbalta, it definitely has to be extremely gradual. Even after weaning of for a few days, I went "psycho", bawling for no reason, blindness, couldn't walk without help, constant anxiety, it was crazy...Class action suit, anyone?
Lindamann - Kskeene, with all due respect for your raw food diet, I cannot live on that. I have had a brush with death and cannot risk my heart to no medicines, because they have kept me alive for the past 7+ years. My heart would stop beating and twist itself around if I didn't take all that medicine! I suspect you don't know much about cardiology or bypass surgery. If you haven't had it, you really don't know why people take medicine to keep their heart in it's normal shape and beating. They stopped my heart for over 5 hours. I know what it's like to die and I'm not anxious to return to that state anytime soon..
Not all food is toxic and not all medicines are toxic. Had I refused medicine, I would have not made it home from the hospital. I am right now living on borrowed time. Death skips and comes back, you know.
I am not allowed so much fruit, because I have a tendency of high sugar with fruit. I can eat as many green vegetables, but limited other color vegetables. Not all veggies are good for us either..
I always tell my friends who are raw food fanatics, even for their dogs, that when they get their MD, they can seek me out with their approved diets.
You don't know if I eat sugar, white flour, meat or dairy. I can't eat any of that. I'm on a low fat, (17 mgs day) low cholesterol , low sat fat (only7 mgs a day) 1200 calorie a day diet. I am not overweight. I weigh a few pounds more than I did before, but that's the Cymbalta or high triglycerides. My body just manufacturers more than others.
After my heart attack and subsequent triple bypass, I can tell you I watch what I eat very carefully. I know how to eat. :) I explained in email that my husband was on raw foods and he died anyway. Not everything is right for everyone. Not even raw food, cancer diets. If you have non-small cell carcinoma, it won't matter what you eat or when. You're good as dead already.
What are those Cymbalta horror stories? All you did was write to promote your raw food sites. :) Why were you taking Cymbalta when produce helped? I'm very interested in that theory. I don't understand blindness, etc. I didn't have that problem. Without Cymbalta, I'm in a lot of fibro pain. That's what I do know.
You're really preaching to the preacher with raw foods.
Kskeene - I wasn't yet on a raw food diet when I quit Cymbalta. That was back in October 2005, before it was marketed publicly. I was on 9 different meds at the time, when I read Kevin Trudeau's book, "Natural Cures They Don't Want You to Know About". I quit most of them then and there, weaning myself off of Cymbalta slowly, because it has a very short half life, and causes many problems. Earlier in the year, when I was still taking it, I called in my prescription, because I noticed that I only had a week's worth, instead of two weeks. They had given me 30 instead of sixty on the last refill. Knowing I was running low, I started stretching them out, because the pharmacy wasn't getting back to me. On the day of my last pill, later in the afternoon, I was riding the bus with my husband and child, and I broke down bawling, even though I wasn't sad. I told my husband to either get me to the pharmacy, or get me to the mental hospital, he opted for the pharmacy. By the time we got there, I had to be led, as I couldn't comprehend what I saw, I was blind, even though I could see, I couldn't process it. Then after I got a dose, the pharmacist told me something that I couldn't believe: "Some people just have to be on meds for the rest of their lives." After we rode the bus home, me still bawling, having anxiety, panic, and terrible embarrassment, my legs started buckling under me, like I was drunk. He had to hold me up to walk home. I went to bed, with terrible anxiety in my chest, rising up like when you hear a bump in the night, over and over. It was awful.
I too have fibromyalgia, but have improved quite a bit since adopting at least a 50% raw diet since August of 2006. And I can honestly say that when I was taking all sorts of meds for the pain and depression, and now,--I cannot tell the difference in how I feel...except that I feel better that I'm no longer poisoning my body with all those meds! And no longer any side effects as well, which are sometimes worse than the dumb drug!
And the raw food sites aren't mine, I just really like Hallelujah Acres, and the message they have. They have a testimony for over 170 diseases healed, including heart problems. Yes, I agree that doctors and medicine are good in emergency situations.
Yet I also know that the diet that they (AHA) recommends is death to those who follow it. The body needs live food, with all the nutrition it can get, in situations where it needs healing.
I have crawled out of the pit of severe fibro, depression, obesity, and now I can say that my life is so much better, and I look forward to it getting even better! I get to eat more than I ever did before, and truly enjoy food, instead of fearing it. Fruit, veggies, nuts and seeds are my banquet now, with occasional treats of old favorites. Oh, here is a link to quell your fears about eating fruit and blood sugar: http://www.fredericpatenaude.com/blog/?s=fruit+diabetes
Another great resource is Dr. Joel Furhman, MD's book Eat to Live. This book is saving countless lives! Dr. Fuhrman is a colleague of Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD of Oprah's fame. (http://www.drfuhrman.com)
Hope all goes well for you!
~Kathleen :)
Lindamann - I'm sorry you have had all those horrible problems and anxiety as well. I lost my husband, re: reason for my recent depression, but I have been clinically depressed for a long time. I think at 54, when I was forced to retire and we lost almost everything, that was what did me in to begin with, because of my bypasses and medical errors.
"Yet I also know that the diet that they (AHA) recommends is death to those who follow it. The body needs live food, with all the nutrition it can get, in situations where it needs healing."
I have to disagree with you. It's not death, it's life to lots of us out here. They recommend "living foods" but you know I don't think you are a nutritionist or a cardiologist, so your comments are taken lightly.
I eat fruits, green vegetables, nuts and seeds as well and always have since I was a child. After all, that's what AHA also RECOMMENDS, along with whole grain. So I don't know at all what you mean by following it is death. Maybe to you, but not for me. I am at a good weight, have lost 3 lbs recently because I tried to and my nutritionist with a degree in nutrition and endocrinology told me not to eat large fruits because of the sugar content and I am pre-diabetic. Did you know one serving is a small peach? Not a jumbo one that most people eat. Bananas are packed with sugar. No not all natural sugars are good either, they should be eaten in moderation.
I am aware of those two doctors and am aware that I would not be alive today if it wasn't for the AHA diet and my medications. If I stop one, I will die. Remember, my husband died despite being on a raw food diet and all those wonderful vitamins they recommend. They do not work for everyone!
I sure hope you get better and that this continues to work for you. Not all diets works for all of us. Have you tried eating cabbage soup to lose weight? I exercise and eat right, in moderation. One thing is I'm still alive and kicking! I'm not young, but I feel like 20 sometimes. I guess I will live to be 100 after all.
So is that your Cymbalta horror story? Your own depression? You should never stop a medication on your own. It can prove fatal. If the pharmacy made a mistake you should have noticed right away and told them. I take 60 mgs once a day, not split up. I get a 3 month supply from my mail order pharmacy.
Now, I'm getting off this poor daughter's thread because I do not want to discuss this further with you here or in email and because it's not fair to her.
Thank you
Kskeene - I just wanted to point out that MDs only receive 21 course hours of nutrition education, mostly funded by the food corporations themselves. (Dairy, meat, and drug companies!) If you read a book on nutrition, you pretty much know more than most general practitioners. I've read so many I don't remember. MDs are trained to prescribe meds.
Just to clear things up, I didn't stop Cymbalta on my own, it was an error on the pharmacy's part, and I did my best with what I had until I could get the refill. I told them multiple times that I was running low. Still, I was never told that Cymbalta had such a short half-life, and that missing or decreasing the dose would be so terrible. My past experience with Prozac, for example, was just a "floating head" feeling if I happened to miss a dose.
I will message you personally, Linda.
One more fact:
According to the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) in 1998, a report finds that prescription drugs kill about 106,000 Americans each year – that’s three times as many as are killed by automobiles—making prescription drug death the fourth leading killer after heart disease, cancer and stroke.
And this is from CORRECTLY taking their properly prescribed medication.
citation: http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=JAMA+1998+p+1200-1205&hl=en&rlz=1B3DVFB_enUS251US251&um=1&ie=UTF-8&oi=scholart
Lindamann - My MD sent me to a nutritionist.
Cymbalta as with all medicines have a short half life if you smoke or drink or are overweight. Missing or decreasing a dose of ANY medicine is not good. If you read the pamphlets the pharmacist gives you with each medication, you would know this. You must not miss a dose, if you do, take it as soon as you can. You should never ever skip a dose or take twice the amount once you remember. This should be imbeded in everyone's brain. I have never taken Prozac or any of the other anti-psychotropic medications. This is my second anti-depressant and I have had good reasons for taking them. I just don't take them for social issues, etc. I have had traumatic experiences in my life. If prescription drug death is the 4th leading killer, diabetes must be tied with the third, because that is in the top 4.
Your citation took me to a google search for drug problems, not a site that I would be able to verify your statement. There are always incidences of adverse drug reactions no matter how much you try to avoid it. Your articles involve hospitalized patients who have a better chance of contracting a fatal illness than a walking around person outside does and also, a better chance of having the wrong drug given to them. I have had that happen a few times. Once preop, told them I was allergic to penicillin and that's what they prepared IV. If I wasn't alert and asked the IV nurse, I would have died - the second was a mistaken overdose by a nurse, that I avoided again because I am alert. The third was wrong meds given to me by a candy striper in a county hospital when I had my son..no meds needed there.
My dad was essentially killed by an unskilled nurse who punctured his esophagus while inserting a feeding tube for his ulcer. He died after lapsing into a coma. My sister died in her own workplace (a hospital) after the doctor failed to diagnose pancreatic cancer). My niece died in a hospital after a failed herniography, she had one heart attack after another due to the stupidity of the surgeon and anestheologist, my other sister was let out after an accident and they didn't know she had a broken fibula. She went back 7 weeks later with pain and they couldn't figure it out. She's still not right. Tell me more about how the JAMA reported in 1998.. They are not the gospel and this is 2008, 10 years later!
Just leave me please. Don't respond. I promise I won't be back on this forum. I don't know why you are bent on arguing with me, but I'm too old for this carp. I'm so sorry I came here. Go off on someone else please.
Thanks and please no more emails from you.
Beachkomber, you were going to write?
85beamer - Linda,
In case you come back :) I will put in my 2 cents. I am bipolar and on a couple of meds now but originally, because I was in a low cycle, I was put on Celexa (an antidepressant) alone. I started to feel better but after 2 months, I started getting manic. The antidepressant had pushed me back over the edge into mania and needed to be cut back. That along with a mood stabilizer has been helping me significantly. Of course, I have lived with my bipolarity for 20 years before doing anything about it so I am comfortable in the idea that it is a long road before any sense of "level" can be achieved!! :) Maybe your situation isn't quite that cut and dry but know that there are others out here supporting you and wishing you the best.
Kskeene - I definitely agree that we need good fats in our diet, avocado, olives, coconuts, nuts, all important for the brain, joints, you name it. Oils are unnecessary though, they just add fat, without any of the fiber or nutrition.
I believe that meds, especially ones for mood, are good to use in emergency situations, where people are going to commit suicide or other psychotic things, under direct supervision, but the diet must be addressed, as most assuredly, people who are mentally ill are deficient.
Lindamann - Coconuts are the worst kind of fat anyone can eat. It's filled with saturated fat, which everyone should know is dangerous to everyone's health. Any fat that is not soluble, like coconut and saturated fats can kill you. I don't know where you get your info, but it's mostly wrong.
Green olives are not good olives, too much sodium - Greek olives (fresh not bottled) are fabulous for your health, but you have to acquire a taste for them.. Olive oil (extra virgin) is the best oil you can use! I use sprays so they don't ever coagulate in my food.
Nuts: walnuts and almonds are the only nuts that one should eat in moderation. Other nuts are bad, full of fat.
To be perfectly honest with you Kathleen, you are losing weight because your muscles are wasting away. You are not losing fat. Body fat can't be lost without a good controlled 20 minute exercise program three times a week and walking at least 2-5 miles a day. Your muscles cannot live, your brain will die and all organs will die if you do not eat FAT. Period. This might be the reason you find it so hard to cope without Cymbalta. Not enough balanced diet or fat in your diet. You must eat some fat every day! That means at least 10 grams of fat and 7 grams of saturated day in a 24 hour period. If you don't, you will die early.If you don't walk or exercise every day you won't lose any weight or body fat.
To assume people are mentally ill because they take an anti-depressant is an indication that your diet of raw foods is not working for your mental status very well. I don't mean to be rude, but you have just about insulted every mentally ill person in this forum by telling them they need anti-psychotic drugs only in emergency or only if suicide is imminen and it is their diett. Please do us all a favor and go back to school and get your degree so you can learn more about the subject of mental illness. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
If you blamed your pharmacist for not giving you the correct amount, I really believe and I have discussed this anonymously with a psychiatrist friend for you, that you somehow took too many at one time particularly if you were short only 2 weeks. That would be 20 pills, not 30. For you to have a breakdown and cry in the car like you did you really knew what you did wrong. OD's can do that to people. I didn't cry when I stopped it for one day. I just went back to being depressed because my husband DIED a few months prior. You have no idea what people's problems are but I can guarantee you, you are dead wrong with your raw fruit diet and you prove it every time you post.
Sorry, I didn't want to come back, but that comment just hackles me. I'm 62 yrs old and don't need some armchair self-proclaimed shrink who reads 10 yr old articles on the internet to diagnose anyone here.
Again I apologize to the young woman whose mom is sick and I apologize to the rest of you if I seem harsh, but truth be told, this just makes me feel sorry for her..She needs a lot of help, diet for obesity, exercise for obesity, and a good sensible diet that she can actually lose weight on, including saturated FAT and FAT so she doesn't totally go off her bean. All she's losing is muscle. Not good. If you diet and exercise on a program, you will gain weight in the beginning, but that is muscle weight not fat. If you stick to it, you will lose body fat and look and feel 20 yrs younger. Exercise also helps depression. So maybe she can prolong her life is she gets off this raw food diet of nuts, seeds, fruit and vegetables only.
Beachkomber - I am living proof that a raw food diet can't cure bipolar. If it could, I'd still be on it. There are many things that play a role in a person's mental health. Diet is one, but you have to take into account genetics, trauma, sleep habits, etc. Eating healthy foods is a good idea for anyone, and I encourage anyone who knows they aren't eating as they should to try to make the switch to healthier versions of the foods they love - like whole wheat pasta, organic fruits and veggies, raw or lightly steamed veggies, healthier fats, etc.
As far as medications go, that is totally between you and your doctor. No one here needs to be making generalities about meds and diet and saying that you're wrong for taking meds or that they won't be needed if you only eat certain foods. The last thing I (and I hope all of us) want is for someone to take these posts as gospel truth. There are a lot of opinions and untested hypotheses being thrown about. Yep, a good diet makes you feel better in general, but no way should someone just stop taking their meds without strict medical supervision. That's asking for trouble. If you want to experiment, do it with the full knowledge and participation of your doctor.
I've begun taking Abilify along with my other meds. I've been helped so much by it that everyone who knows me has commented on it to me. It's hard to know you're depressed until you finally aren't. Is there anyone else here who has tried it and had success with it? Anyone who can't take it or hasn't improved with its use?
Lindamann - Like you said Beach, to tell someone not to take meds or that a heart patient doesn't need meds to stay alive or a mentally ill person is DEFICIENT in their diet is absurd. Sounds like cheering someone on to jump off a building to me.
Going to look up Abilify now.
Hope it works for you!
:)
Johnstonx5 - I have been reading the post. I also have bipolar disorder. Just wanting to let everyone else who has it that I have started eating healthy and working out regularly and I feel like a total different person. I still have my occasional days but for the most part exercise and eating right, along with my meds has made all the difference.
K8california - I'm someone with Bipolar I, and have first-hand experience regarding the issue of nutritional deficiencies and mood disorders. After reading about the Pfeiffer Treatment Center and HRI (Health Research Institute) in the book 'The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder' by Stephanie Marohn, I had a full intake done with their doctors. (I'm blessed to have a mother who does everything she can to support me and my journey for mental health, and she made my treatment possible.)
At my appointment the Pfeiffer staff did the most thorough intake interview I've ever had with a doctor or psychiatrist, and they had my blood, hair and urine analyzed and concluded that certain nutrient deficiencies were contributing to my illness. In my individual case, zinc, B-6 and B-12 (among others) levels were especially low. These are ESSENTIAL nutrients for the body, and have an impact on one's mental functioning as well.
Essentially, when the body is not able to absorb adequate amounts of the required nutrients, it is not able to work properly- including the brain. Traditional pharmaceuticals may be helpful for many people; however, they can only treat the symptoms of mental illness. Orthomolecular or nutritional research and treatment works to address the underlying cause of mental illnesses. It is something of a fledgling science, but very well grounded and medically sound. Personally, the Pfeiffer "nutrients" helped me more than any of the traditional drug therapies I'd previously tried. Some people have found complete or near-complete success on this treatment; personally, my doses need tweaking. I continue to explore and search for something that will bring me closer to stable. But wanted to pass along this info. Hope you find it helpful, or at least interesting.
Also, regarding fats- Approximately 2/3rds of our brain cells are comprised of omega-3 fats. Inadequate intake of fat certainly impacts brain health. Pfeiffer Center has me taking daily fish oil supplements (Ultimate Omega from Nordic Naturals).
Pfeiffer's website is http://www.hriptc.org/index.php
They are located in Chicago but also has a traveling clinic scheduled for visits around the country.
Good luck to all!
Debash - I have Bipolar Disorder... it feels like i have been dealing with this all of my life.This was the reason i was comfortable with the thought of never having children.Well, the Lord blessed me and i now have a 3 yr old daughter that is pure perfection. I am doing good on my meds as of now....but for how long? i lay awake crying with fear that one day my daughter will suffer because of my illness.
Beachkomber - Debash: I see where you're coming from. I used to do the same thing: worry that my kids would inherit the problem. But I also realized something else. I know what bipolar looks like. I know how it's treated, and I feel confident that I'd recognize it in my kids if they ever developed any symptoms. So, they'd be put on medications and taught how to deal with it at a younger age than I was (I was 32), and they'd be more likely to live a relatively normal life because of my experience. Remember what Jesus said:
"So don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " (read Matthew 6:25-34 to get the entirety of the advice about not worrying) It's a verse I've clung to in times of trouble, and it's the one thing that helps me avoid crossing bridges before I come to them. After all, you have enough to worry about in the present without worrying about something that may not even happen in the future. God is there for you now and He will be there for you tomorrow as well. Just follow His will in your life, and He will meet *all* of your needs.
I hope I don't come off as preachy, but this lesson is one that I learned years ago when I was in a very dark place in my life. God is the one who pulled me out of that darkness, and He's the one who continues to lead me closer to Him. I hope that through your times of trouble that you can see His hand reached out to you, that you're not alone. Just trust in Him, and He will never let you down.
God Bless.
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Bizkit2808 - Hi, my name is Alia Kira
I was three years old when I first realised my mom was sick.... only later in life was she properly diagnosed with Bi-polar. Live was very difficult and I developed a lot of anxiety problems and suffered with panic attacks.
When she was well, she was the most wonderful, kind and loving mum... I loved her more than anything and spent more time with her than most kids do with their moms.
I guess I knew I was going to lose her and I did... I won't go into details but the last two years of her life I saw her suffer and how the illness stole her from us because she was in and out of hospital all the time. The day she died I screamed at God (who I preceive to be God) I was so broken.... now ten years later I would still give up anything just to see her for five minutes.
RIP Mom, love you always xxxx
Bizkit2808 - Hey Debash, my heart goes out to you.... we never know where the road will lead us in life but there will always be pain and always be happiness... wish you all the best and your daughter, Alia
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